my "Ajahn mosquitoes"

A while back I once heard Ajahn Brahm (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) talking about his early years as a forest monk in Thailand. They had to sit under the trees and meditate. As a young monk, he was bothered by the tropical jungle mosquitoes and cannot concentrate. He complained to his teacher, Ajahn Cha. But his famous teacher told him that those mosquitoes are his teacher, teaching him how to ignore all the surrounding and to learn to concencerate even in seemingly impossible situation. Therefore the notion of "Ajahn mosquitoes" - learning from the mosquitoes.

I have always liked this story especially today - I finally met my "Ajahn mosquitoes" - Mrs. Tan.

Mrs. Tan is such a unique person that I have never met anyone like her my entire life until now. Not only does she attend to all possible details, ask all questions humainly imaginable, she simply cannot make up her mind! She has this mentality that she can always find something better and cheaper. She bothers my friend June so much that even June got pissed off this morning when Mrs. Tan called and asked June to "hold" the contract. June called me. I called Mrs. Tan. The entire morning was gone. I discussed with June and we decided to email her a copy of the contract termination paper.

Mrs. Tan is the kind of person who will not only suffer from her own indecision but will make everyone around her suffer. I got really angry and vented my emotion with Donna, Youmei and Georgette. Just five munites before I went into tonight's Buddhism class, the husband called to apologize. He said he had no idea all the things the wife said and did. He is very angry at her and apologize for what she did. Interestingly, he had no idea that the wife called me and asked me to "hold" the car deal after he said he wanted to buy. He said he still wants my car. Evidently they don't talk to each other. :-)

At first I was very angry at her. But after I let go of my own desire to sell, and emailed her the termination contract, I felt very liberated! Once I can let go of my own attachment (wanting to sell), I opened up more space for myself. As the day went on, I became to feel sorry for Mrs. Tan. She is not an evil person but her self ego is too strong. She cannot see the suffering she is creating for her and everyone around her. I don't think she is a happy person. I wish she has the wisdom to let go of this contract. Unfortunately she cannot let go when she should and she cannot take on responsibilities when she should. Of course she cannot let go of the contract and to lose $1,000 earnest money.

I learned not to be angry at her. She showed me how suffering it is to have a strong ego and how ignorance creates suffering not only for self but for others.

Arising and falling away as all phonomona are. This, will be part of a faded memory in my life soon.